Really?

Dear Wendy's,

Stop. Please stop your advertising campaign right now. It is not original and for some reason, it infuriates me. I enjoy your dollar menu. I enjoy a lot of the food you choose to make. But please stop trying to tell me that what you offer is not fast food. If my food takes less time to prepare than it does to actually eat, than I consider that fast. If you have a drive-thru, odds are you are pretty quick at service. Try another angle and don't keep telling me "it's better than fast food, it's Wendy's." Why not, "Wendy's, sure it's garbage, but it's quicker than all the other garbage." That is a story I can get behind. Don't pretend to be something that you're not. The same goes for you too, Ruby Tuesday's. You used to be cool. Stop being pretentious and give me an actual ketchup bottle on the table. I should open my own restaurant.

Sincerely,
Trey